The Whole Mama

It’s been a while with no posts, longer than usual, because a lot of interesting discussions have been happening in my world offline that have had me pondering.  I could see how they all point to different aspects of the same subject, but I’ve been waiting for the various threads to knit together more coherently before I began writing about … The Law of Attraction.

Tuning Fork

For one thing, the Law of Attraction doesn’t work like a magnet, but more like a tuning fork.  That is, it doesn’t draw to you things that weren’t there before, but, based on what your vibration is, it sets off a resonance with people or events or things that are already around you with a similar vibration so that they are what you notice or interact with, rather than other things that also exist in your environment that you are not a vibrational match for.  If you want your world to be something different, then, rather than focusing on what is already visible to you in your reality that you don’t want and keeping your vibration a match to it,  you have to first change your vibration to what it is you are actually wanting to be, do or have.

Re-Tune Your Dial

To use another analogy (I am a big fan of analogies), if you are listening to a talk radio station but you’re not enjoying it and wish you were listening to some upbeat pop music instead, you wouldn’t expect the talk radio station to change and begin playing pop music, nor would you think that just because your radio was tuned to talk radio that that was all that you could listen to on this radio.  You know that the radio waves for what you want are also present in the room where you are and that you can simply re-tune your radio to the pop music signal and begin listening to pop music.  The talk radio waves and the pop music waves were both present all along, all you needed to do was shift your focus, tune your dial, to receive the one you wanted.

You Are Accountable

Your life is the same.  All that you wish to have in your life and all that you don’t are currently present.  Which you experience depends on what your vibration is.  You are accountable for what shows up in your life.  All of it.  That isn’t to be taken as “blame” either, which is a value judgement, stating that there’s something wrong with you because you have focused on what you don’t want (or by lack of intention failed to focus on what you do want) any more than you “blame” the radio for broadcasting talk radio when you want pop music.  Accountability simply means being willing to look at what you are currently doing, or have previously done, that has resulted in the circumstances you can now observe in your life (especially those that you no longer want to have show up) and using the tools out there to help you change your vibration so that you can be, do or have anything that you desire.

Albert Einstein defined INSANITY as: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Change Your Vibration

But, it’s not only doing the same thing over and over, which is in effect the final part of a bigger process that defines your vibration, it’s thinking the same things over and over, holding the images in your mind of the same thing over and over and feeling the same feelings over and over that create your vibration and lead you to repeat the words and actions that create more in your life of what you already have – even if that you say that you don’t want it!   The great thing I have learned over the last 10 years is that any belief you have ever created or that you have allowed others to create for you and that you have simply taken on as the truth (especially during childhood when you don’t have the filters to prevent your parents and others beliefs embedding in your subconscious), can be changed!

Inspirational Mentors

Some of my favourite mentors whose style and way of expressing these ideas in a way that spoke to me personally are Abraham-Hicks, Bob Proctor, Jack Canfield and Leslie Householder. As I began changing my beliefs about health, relationships, money and pretty much any area you can think of, blocks really became highlighted. It’s the shared knowledge of these teachers, as well as other tools like EFT and the Abraham-Hicks processes that I’ve used to shift the blocks, that has changed everything in my life for the better.

My next few posts will cover some of these mentors and what I’ve learned from them in a bit more detail.  Please feel free to post your comments:  what’s worked for you … and what hasn’t …

Anger is such a great emotion that has such
a huge taboo over it. “Nice” people don’t get angry:  that’s the message I grew up with.  Instead of developing healthy ways of feeling and expressing anger, I was left hanging, feeling shame for feeling it and no reasonable way to deal with it. When I eventually came across Louise Hay’s work on how specific diseases can be linked to the suppression of specific emotions, it made sense to me and gave me the motivation to acknowledge and work with my achilles heel, which was anger, but it took many, many years and a lot of healing to clear the backlog and learn to work with it as an ally in the present moment.

I love anger.  It’s a clear signal that something you are experiencing in the present is not in alignment with who you are and what you are wanting to create in your life.  It is a force, a huge rush of energy that you can use to make change, take action, improve yourself, but the key is to keep that emotional energy IN MOTION.

Abraham talk about the Emotional Guidance Scale* and how hard it is to move instantly from a low state to a high state and especially, to maintain a higher state if you haven’t moved steadily through at least some of the stages of emotion in between – the difference in vibration is just too great.  It’s why you can feel on a such a rollercoaster of highs and lows when you start working with self development and spiritual ideas and why many people end up feeling inadequate or guilty that they haven’t maintained the peak experiences they felt when they were in a workshop or with someone who’s inspiring and uplifting to be with.

That steady progression needn’t take more than a few minutes but it can even take months or years depending on where you are in your personal journey and where you tend to steady out emotionally on a day-to-day basis (in the health field they call that your set point but you shift it with practise).  The fact is that many of us start off pretty low and may have gotten used to feeling depressed or powerless or insecure and so we need to feel angry because anger feels better than feeling powerless or depressed or scared.  The problem is that anger is not ‘allowed’.  People around you may prefer you to be in one of the lower states than moving into anger because anger is a BIG emotion and, especially if you haven’t had enough practise at owning it rather than directing at other people, it can be very uncomfortable to be around.

How often do you see parents pacifying their angry children, trying to get them to ‘quiet down’ or people telling an angry person to calm down or pull it together?  If every time you reach anger, you’re sent back down to shame or powerlessness, it can be hard to feel the relief and freedom that lies just the other side of it in blame, or doubt or boredom, let alone hitting hopefulness, optimism or joy as your regular inner feeling.  Of course it’s useful to know how to ‘be angry’ without directing anger ‘at’ another person, but I should think that’s a whole other post for another day.

I’ve noticed that, luckily, kids move through their Emotional Guidance Scale much more easily than us adults who’ve had the process hampered a little.  It can be really easy to help them to keep the energy in motion by simply allowing them to express themselves freely until they shift on their own, or by validating them by just stating what you see they’re feeling without judgement or adding to the drama of the situation.  However, sometimes they need a little more help, especially if they’ve already learned some less effective ways of coping from parents who are a work in progress, like me (raises her hand).  I like my children to have control over themselves, so rather than do any surrogate tapping for them, I prefer to show them how to do it for themselves so they can have a tool for life.

In line with that, here’s another video from Brad Yates and his adept assistant to help your child deal with anger.  EFT doesn’t deny the emotion, it just gets the energy flowing where it’s gotten ‘stuck’ in a person’s ‘story’ or field, freeing their way up the scale.

Happy tapping to you and your family:

Brad adds this note:

*Once again, thanks to Vickie for her post on the Emotional Guidance Scale here.

I found this wonderful excerpt at www.contemplatethis.com in the Parenting archive and wanted to share it with all the mamas out there:

Click the arrow to listen to quote.

Your life experience only has to do about your vibrational relationship with this evolved being that you’ve become. And, when you get that, everything begins to come into alignment for you and that’s the best example that you can give to your children.

Wouldn’t you love to have your children say about you, when they’re talking to your friends:

“My mom’s always happy.”

Wouldn’t you love to have your children say about you when you don’t know they’re listening:

“My mom trusts me.”

“My mom thinks I’m really smart.”

“My mom thinks I have good judgement.”

“My mom thinks that I can figure things out on my own.”

Wouldn’t you just love to have your children know that that’s the way you feel about them?

“When my mom get’s upset, she gets over it really fast.”

“My mom doesn’t hold grudges.”

“My mom doesn’t seem to worry about things.”

“Things go really good for my mom.”

“My mom lives a really good life.”

“Everybody really likes my mom.”

Isn’t that the kind of legacy that you want to leave? Or would you rather have someone say:

photo by atul666

“Oh, my mom, she worked so hard.

She put us kids through school.

She never had a moment to herself.

She sacrificed everything that she had for us.”

We know, the other (*refering to the life is hard version) sells books, but you WANT to feel THAT way (*refering to the positive aspects version) about your mom.

Alaskan Cruise July 8 2007 CD B
Track: “It’s Parenting, Or Discipline”