The Whole Mama

Well Spring is well and truly here and so is that wonderful drive to clear away anything that doesn’t serve me or my family and draw in an abundant life that does.

At home, I installed a fire pit in my garden last week and my kids and I have already had our first barbeque on it and spent almost every night since sitting around it’s warmth enjoying the night and firelit dinners together. I don’t quite remember a British Spring that’s seemed so warm and inviting to be in Nature since I arrived here and I’m enjoying it as much as I can. The fire’s also been the focus of some deep ceremonies that I’ve done to release patterns and beliefs that don’t serve me, as well as a lot of grief, disappointment and sadness that I have experienced recently.

As it’s only a few days away to Christmas and this time of year brings up a lot of issues for a lot of people related to family or finances or other festive stresses, I thought I’d post this great video by Brad Yates to help with magic tapping those stresses away so that you can find it easier to focus on what you do want rather than whatever you are finding stressful in your current situation.

Wishing all my readers a wonderful Christmas filled with abundance and joy and happy memories to look back on as you head towards the end of the year.

The realization that something is not as you want it to be is an important first step, but once you have identified that, the faster you are able to turn your attention in the direction of a solution, the better, because a continuing exploration of the problem will prevent you from finding the solution. The problem is a different vibrational frequency than the solution—and all thoughts (or vibrations) are affected by (or managed by) the Law of Attraction.

– Abraham

Excerpted from the book “Money and the Law of Attraction: Learning to Attract Health, Wealth and Happiness” #287

This is why I focus so much on identifying what you do want and then living it in your mind and like the monthly manifestation group I meet with to end on that note. In a book I’m reading at the moment, they call it “virtualizing” instead of “visualizing” as you want to experience it in your mind as if you are in the experience and living it completely, all senses plus emotions, not just watching a movie of it like you might do in visualizing.  It’s a technique I’ve used for a long time, but I love their name for it.

When you’re virtualizing, and can keep on daydreaming your end result and ignoring the negative feelings your current situation brings up, you’re on the way to changing your reality for the one you are imagining.

Experiencing in your mind the way you’d like your life to be and feeling those feelings and expecting it to be possible and even likely, creates a channel for it to travel down towards you.  You allow your dream to show you the first little step that you need to take to help make it happen (inspired action) from where you are, as well as orchestrating the people and resources for you to make it almost effortless to achieve your desired outcome.

Manifesting is 80% about getting the thoughts and feelings (and so, the vibration) right and only 20% about DOING to make it happen.

It’s been a while with no posts, longer than usual, because a lot of interesting discussions have been happening in my world offline that have had me pondering.  I could see how they all point to different aspects of the same subject, but I’ve been waiting for the various threads to knit together more coherently before I began writing about … The Law of Attraction.

Tuning Fork

For one thing, the Law of Attraction doesn’t work like a magnet, but more like a tuning fork.  That is, it doesn’t draw to you things that weren’t there before, but, based on what your vibration is, it sets off a resonance with people or events or things that are already around you with a similar vibration so that they are what you notice or interact with, rather than other things that also exist in your environment that you are not a vibrational match for.  If you want your world to be something different, then, rather than focusing on what is already visible to you in your reality that you don’t want and keeping your vibration a match to it,  you have to first change your vibration to what it is you are actually wanting to be, do or have.

Re-Tune Your Dial

To use another analogy (I am a big fan of analogies), if you are listening to a talk radio station but you’re not enjoying it and wish you were listening to some upbeat pop music instead, you wouldn’t expect the talk radio station to change and begin playing pop music, nor would you think that just because your radio was tuned to talk radio that that was all that you could listen to on this radio.  You know that the radio waves for what you want are also present in the room where you are and that you can simply re-tune your radio to the pop music signal and begin listening to pop music.  The talk radio waves and the pop music waves were both present all along, all you needed to do was shift your focus, tune your dial, to receive the one you wanted.

You Are Accountable

Your life is the same.  All that you wish to have in your life and all that you don’t are currently present.  Which you experience depends on what your vibration is.  You are accountable for what shows up in your life.  All of it.  That isn’t to be taken as “blame” either, which is a value judgement, stating that there’s something wrong with you because you have focused on what you don’t want (or by lack of intention failed to focus on what you do want) any more than you “blame” the radio for broadcasting talk radio when you want pop music.  Accountability simply means being willing to look at what you are currently doing, or have previously done, that has resulted in the circumstances you can now observe in your life (especially those that you no longer want to have show up) and using the tools out there to help you change your vibration so that you can be, do or have anything that you desire.

Albert Einstein defined INSANITY as: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Change Your Vibration

But, it’s not only doing the same thing over and over, which is in effect the final part of a bigger process that defines your vibration, it’s thinking the same things over and over, holding the images in your mind of the same thing over and over and feeling the same feelings over and over that create your vibration and lead you to repeat the words and actions that create more in your life of what you already have – even if that you say that you don’t want it!   The great thing I have learned over the last 10 years is that any belief you have ever created or that you have allowed others to create for you and that you have simply taken on as the truth (especially during childhood when you don’t have the filters to prevent your parents and others beliefs embedding in your subconscious), can be changed!

Inspirational Mentors

Some of my favourite mentors whose style and way of expressing these ideas in a way that spoke to me personally are Abraham-Hicks, Bob Proctor, Jack Canfield and Leslie Householder. As I began changing my beliefs about health, relationships, money and pretty much any area you can think of, blocks really became highlighted. It’s the shared knowledge of these teachers, as well as other tools like EFT and the Abraham-Hicks processes that I’ve used to shift the blocks, that has changed everything in my life for the better.

My next few posts will cover some of these mentors and what I’ve learned from them in a bit more detail.  Please feel free to post your comments:  what’s worked for you … and what hasn’t …

Anger is such a great emotion that has such
a huge taboo over it. “Nice” people don’t get angry:  that’s the message I grew up with.  Instead of developing healthy ways of feeling and expressing anger, I was left hanging, feeling shame for feeling it and no reasonable way to deal with it. When I eventually came across Louise Hay’s work on how specific diseases can be linked to the suppression of specific emotions, it made sense to me and gave me the motivation to acknowledge and work with my achilles heel, which was anger, but it took many, many years and a lot of healing to clear the backlog and learn to work with it as an ally in the present moment.

I love anger.  It’s a clear signal that something you are experiencing in the present is not in alignment with who you are and what you are wanting to create in your life.  It is a force, a huge rush of energy that you can use to make change, take action, improve yourself, but the key is to keep that emotional energy IN MOTION.

Abraham talk about the Emotional Guidance Scale* and how hard it is to move instantly from a low state to a high state and especially, to maintain a higher state if you haven’t moved steadily through at least some of the stages of emotion in between – the difference in vibration is just too great.  It’s why you can feel on a such a rollercoaster of highs and lows when you start working with self development and spiritual ideas and why many people end up feeling inadequate or guilty that they haven’t maintained the peak experiences they felt when they were in a workshop or with someone who’s inspiring and uplifting to be with.

That steady progression needn’t take more than a few minutes but it can even take months or years depending on where you are in your personal journey and where you tend to steady out emotionally on a day-to-day basis (in the health field they call that your set point but you shift it with practise).  The fact is that many of us start off pretty low and may have gotten used to feeling depressed or powerless or insecure and so we need to feel angry because anger feels better than feeling powerless or depressed or scared.  The problem is that anger is not ‘allowed’.  People around you may prefer you to be in one of the lower states than moving into anger because anger is a BIG emotion and, especially if you haven’t had enough practise at owning it rather than directing at other people, it can be very uncomfortable to be around.

How often do you see parents pacifying their angry children, trying to get them to ‘quiet down’ or people telling an angry person to calm down or pull it together?  If every time you reach anger, you’re sent back down to shame or powerlessness, it can be hard to feel the relief and freedom that lies just the other side of it in blame, or doubt or boredom, let alone hitting hopefulness, optimism or joy as your regular inner feeling.  Of course it’s useful to know how to ‘be angry’ without directing anger ‘at’ another person, but I should think that’s a whole other post for another day.

I’ve noticed that, luckily, kids move through their Emotional Guidance Scale much more easily than us adults who’ve had the process hampered a little.  It can be really easy to help them to keep the energy in motion by simply allowing them to express themselves freely until they shift on their own, or by validating them by just stating what you see they’re feeling without judgement or adding to the drama of the situation.  However, sometimes they need a little more help, especially if they’ve already learned some less effective ways of coping from parents who are a work in progress, like me (raises her hand).  I like my children to have control over themselves, so rather than do any surrogate tapping for them, I prefer to show them how to do it for themselves so they can have a tool for life.

In line with that, here’s another video from Brad Yates and his adept assistant to help your child deal with anger.  EFT doesn’t deny the emotion, it just gets the energy flowing where it’s gotten ‘stuck’ in a person’s ‘story’ or field, freeing their way up the scale.

Happy tapping to you and your family:

Brad adds this note:

*Once again, thanks to Vickie for her post on the Emotional Guidance Scale here.